Expensive Taste
by Otorisosa-kan
Summary: Let's say Zack's worst mistake ever is to touch Genesis's conditioner.


"How many times have I asked you to keep your nose out of _my_ belongings?!"

Zack yelped as he shot out of Genesis's room, ducking to avoid having an empty bottle of conditioner bounce off his head.

"Do you even have _any_ clue how expensive this conditioner is?! And you have the _nerve_ to use it for…for…!"

Genesis screamed some more as Zack zipped downstairs and clung onto Angeal's back. The nurse sighed as he continued stirring the gravy for tonight's Christmas feast.

"Zack?"

"We're out of lube, Angeal," Zack whined and Angeal couldn't help a soft chortle.

"I'll be up there to soothe him soon enough," he promised as he glanced around the messy kitchen "In the meantime…chop those carrots up."

Zack shuffled over to the chopping board and began to chop the pile of carrots that had been waiting there patiently all afternoon.

"Where's Seph?" he asked and winced as there was a crash upstairs.

"Picking Cloud up from his stay in Nibelheim," Angeal replied and picked his phone up when it buzzed "Oh, not anymore it seems."

"Hm?"

Angeal showed the picture that had been sent to him and Zack took the phone away. He squinted at the screen before deciding to enlarge it. His face went red quickly, his eyes widened and a trail of blood slowly dripped from his nose.

"Holy mother of Chocobos, I didn't know Spiky could be _that_ flexible!"

"Zack, you're getting blood on the carrots."

Zack automatically stepped back, staring at the picture and let out a soft gurgle.

"Zack!"

Angeal slapped Zack upside the head and Zack shook his head as the nurse took his phone back.

"Clean yourself up and go out to buy more of Genesis's conditioner."

"Huh? Why me?"

"You know exactly why and while you're at it, see if you can find a copy of _The Firstborn_."

"That's a movie right?"

Angeal rolled his eyes.

"Latest bestseller, it's on his wish list."

"I thought it was that book about a woman running a business by herself?"

"Oh this came out last week and we've already got him _Stacey's Enterprise_. If you can get _The Firstborn_ you'll be able to pacify him better."

Zack sighed as he skulked out of the kitchen to clean himself up.

* * *

" _Nine hundred thousand Gil_?!"

The shop clerk nodded grumpily as Zack stared at the tub of conditioner before him.

"For one tub or like…a hundred?"

"Nine hundred thousand is the Christmas deal we're currently offering to our valued customers," the clerk drawled a little sarcastically.

Zack stared hard at the tub of conditioner, checking the note Angeal wrote and looking at it again.

"Surely there's some pricing mistake?"

"Sir, do you really think beauty is cheap?" the clerk rolled his eyes "Really, if it were that simple, everyone would be beautiful."

He tossed his wavy blonde hair over his shoulder and gave Zack an icy stare.

"So? Are you going to buy it or not? You are wasting valuable time."

Zack turned to check behind him and noticed a lack of a line behind him. There were barely any customers but that was probably because all the products this shop had were ridiculously overpriced. Zack looked down at the tub again and sighed in defeat.

"Do you take card?"

"No credit."

Zack hissed as he drew out his bank card, silently saying goodbye to getting his own motorcycle after the next payday. Five minutes later, he was striding out of the shop with the expensive conditioner, muttering something about daylight robbery and threatening to arrest the whole company.

Sighing softly, Zack shook his head and glanced around to find the nearest bookshop to find the bestseller Angeal had recommended him to get. So began the two hour and sixteen minute search for the elusive book which happened to be sold out in every bookshop within a six mile radius. And even when he did find a copy, he had to wrestle with an older lady to get the book (seeing as she already had like thirteen copies of the exact same book). Let's say on the bus journey back, Zack was starting to regret ever suggesting to try and top Genesis.

Zack wearily trudged down the pavement, his legs aching from all the walking, his head throbbing with the woman's shrieks as she got dragged away from him by security guards and he was freezing. He shivered again and jumped when he felt a cold touch on his nose. He paused to look up and his blue eyes widened in awe.

"IT'S SNOWING!"

And just like that, his energy levels were up and the puppy was speeding down the pavements, his pains and woes suddenly gone up in smoke it seemed. Zack was home ten seconds later, leapfrogging over the fence and storming through the door.

"Angeal, Genesis, it's snowing! It's going to be a white Christmas!"

Genesis plopped the roast meat onto the table and gave him a fierce glower. Zack halted in his excitement, suddenly remembering why his head and legs were aching. Angeal stood by the oven, acting as a mediator, whilst the policeman slowly approached the teacher, offering his spoils of the day. Genesis narrowed his eyes.

"Grovel."

"Oh benevolent Genesis!"

Both men jumped as Zack fell to his knees, hands and bags in the air.

"I am not worthy of your divine forgiveness nevertheless I shall beg for it! My soul, corrupted by vengeance hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey! So release me, my goddess for it is only you who has the key to salvation!"

Angeal and Genesis stared at Zack with wide eyes for a moment or two of silence.

"You quoted _Loveless_ and _Judgement_ , how did you remember those?"

"You recite lines in your sleep," Zack mumbled with a rather red face from his shouting.

"But the third quote, I don't recognise it."

Zack reached into one of the bags and plucked out the copy of _The Firstborn_ he had found.

"Page thirty-two," he said and Genesis gasped.

"Oh, you brilliant gem of a puppy!"

Genesis pulled him to his feet and kissed Zack sweetly.

"You're forgiven," he smiled softly "But I'm still angry."

That was when Zack produced the tub of conditioner.

"I love you."

"We're back."

"Spiky!"

Zack was out of Genesis's arms and charging for the recently arrived couple. Cloud's cheeks were pink as Sephiroth placed the parcels in his arms on a nearby table so he could embrace Zack after the puppy hugged the Chocobo tightly.

"How dare you drag Cloud away for a quickie!" Zack pouted and Cloud's cheeks went pinker.

Sephiroth just smirked and glanced at Genesis who came out with his new book and conditioner.

"Oh no, you used Genesis's conditioner, didn't you?"

Zack pouted as Cloud tilted his head curiously.

"Are we not allowed…?" he murmured.

"Oh darling, don't worry, it's ok if I personally apply it to you," Genesis smiled.

"Seph, it cost me nine hundred thousand Gil!" Zack whined and Cloud's eyes widened in alarm.

"Who pays that much for hair product?!" he exclaimed.

"I'm surprised you don't," Angeal murmured as he stood at the kitchen doorway, drying a saucepan.

"Zack, you got off easy," Sephiroth scowled as he ruffled Zack's spikes "I had to pay the million and a half Gil."

THUMP

Zack had fainted as Cloud stared up at Sephiroth in alarm.

"Genesis can smell what beauty products a person is wearing."

"I can smell someone is using the gold Chocobo shampoo I got him," Genesis smiled happily and Cloud stared at him in disbelief.

"One and a half million Gil…?" Zack mumbled from the floor.

"Zack, the table is ready."

And Zack was up and at the table as Genesis graced Cloud with a tender kiss. Sephiroth picked the parcels up as Angeal began putting the food on the table for the early Christmas dinner.


End file.
